As an events manager, I managed/ planned hundred plus Irish weddings. As a food and beverage manager, oversaw 50 plus weddings and as Deputy General Manager, welcomed 20 plus brides and grooms to the hotel. But it took eight years and a month to attend an Irish wedding as a guest.
When I came to Dublin first back in 99, there were only three Indians I knew and I hit it off straight away with Anju, a girl from Delhi. We became very close friends and its through her I met Linda and Ryan. Back in 2002, never did we think that they will last this long and walk down the Aisle, but well, what has ever happened according to my thoughts! In this case, it happened for the good.
So, got the invite around three months back. In the meanwhile myself and Anju had moved away concentrating on our careers. I was looking forward to meeting Anju again after the long gap. Were there butterflies in my stomach, not really, we both knew we were good friends and that we will remain good friends. But yes, I was happy, looking forward to meeting the whole gang, enjoying a few pints…having a bit of ‘craic’!
The day arrived, since I knew that I will taste whatever Ireland has ever produced called whiskey, I wisely left my car at home. The cabbie went on about how good Irish weddings are, the drinking till the early hours, going straight to the restaurant to have a full Irish breakfast and then waiting for the bar to open again. On Sundays pubs opened at 12 instead of 10am, so that’s two extra hours of anticipation than a regular day! He kept me amused so didn’t bother telling him ‘mate, I have seen all this at least a few hundred times’. Just enjoyed his conversation and on his advice took two paracetamol tablets, his explanation was that my hangover will be minimal the next morning…even though against my principles, I took the tablets….what is the fun in having a session if you are not gonna have a hangover the next morning….
He was so distracting that I forgot to mention the turn to Anju’s house, cost me three extra euros! Picked up Anju from her house, well , I just realised how long its been since I met her. She looked more like an Irish now, dressed in an LBD, as they call it these days…little black dress exposing just enough to make heads turn. She gave me that ‘ don’t I look good’ smile and asked how do I look. Today I didn’t have to lie or think for an instant before saying ‘you look absolutely stunning’ she sure did. Were those the butterflies fluttering in my stomach, nop, it wasn’t, I just realised that I had not eaten anything the whole day and my tummy was rumbling. We reached the church fast enough before we got into more assess me talks. Since we were running late, all we were worried was whether we will miss Linda walking down the Aisle with her dad.
We reached fifteen minutes late and was looking at each other to see who we can blame, but then we saw Bernie waving at us signalling us to rush. We crossed the road and I could see me holding Anju’s hands, some things never change, because all the while I knew Anju she was a bad ‘road crosser’. We had enough time to grab the ‘wedding itinerary’ and grab a seat before we heard the ‘here comes the bride’ music. I turned around to see them walk down the Aisle. I always loved western weddings, the music, the veil, the long dress….the compliments….oh look at her, she looks gorgeous, oh…that’s a lovely dress…I have heard that many a times before but mostly just for the sake of saying. But in this occasion, they did mean every bit when they passed those compliments. Linda looked divine. But my appreciation of the situation didn’t last that long…Suraj….take a photo….yes madam, I was the designated photographer for the next hour. I didn’t complain much since I liked what I was shooting. Compared to the 2 hour weddings back home, this was a cool 45 minute ceremony…and I don’t get to kiss the bride either. The ceremony itself was beautiful. The choir complemented the mass so well. It was a perfect setting. Three brides’ maids, two grooms men and the best man.
The bride and groom was standing outside at the church exit door to thank everyone for coming and also for us to congratulate them, I have kissed a hundred brides while welcoming them to the hotel but believe me I still get tense doing that. So I was dreading this ‘congratulating’ bit. Anju was the only one who knew this and she was enjoying this immensely. I congratulated Ryan and Linda but Linda had to bring her cheek closer to mine….i came out saying..ok that’s over….Martin commented, Alex, you seem to be more tense than Linda…smart cow.
Now, this is what that made the hour so much interesting! We had noticed this young woman who probably is a size 8, wearing an Armani dress( heard her saying that to her enemy). She had made sure that everybody noticed her by her various ‘acts’. Well, God just answered her prayers. She went over to congratulate the Bride and Groom and as she was in the process, her stiletto heels got stuck in the gully right beside the entrance. Trust me folks, it took the best part of 15 minutes, the bride and groom, the best man, the girls boyfriend and two other men to get her shoes out. The photographer was having a field day. All this time smart me was thinking, if she had removed her shoes, then it would have been much easier to get it out…dah! Finally before the fire brigade was called, they finally managed to get Paris and her shoes out. The embarrassment will stay for long though! After a few photographs, we proceeded to the Hotel.
First question Elaine asked was, are we stopping at the Thatch Pub? We had a less than 5 minute drive to the hotel where the bar would have been fully stocked. Indeed, we stopped at the thatch. By the way there is a reason why the Pub is named Thatch. The pub’s roof is thatched; once upon a long time ago, the pub got flooded and the pub was fully rebuilt. Probably anticipating another incident, they decided to keep costs down! We all decided to start of with Shots, when I say we, its Ann, Anju, Bernie, Sharon, Martin and of course me! We all had a round of baby Guinness followed by our individual favourites. When it came to the third round, the hotelier in me interrupted and said that we have to leave, otherwise might miss the Bride and Grooms entry; why would I want to make the Pub owner rich when the poor hotelier had already stocked up his bar!
We reached the hotel and for the first time that afternoon, I was genuinely happy, I saw sandwiches at the reception table…grabbed a few triangles before we headed to the hotel bar; Sharon had to drag me to the bar since I had gone back to grab another sandwich and also to look at the Hotel’s Christmas programme. I have this terrible habit of checking out other properties even when I am supposed to be relaxing, in this case drinking. Before I left I had given the receptionist my address to post their brochure to me. She wasn’t my ‘type’ otherwise would have given her my business card. That’s another thing I do, I carry plenty of business cards when I go to other hotels….recruitment costs have shot through the roof in the last two years!!
The Rugby world cup finals was to kick off in an hours time and my gut feeling was England will win. But then I thought I should probably bet on South Africa since whatever my mind says, the opposite happens. Funny enough, luckily that syndrome never occurs at work. By the time Linda and Ryan came to the hotel we had three rounds and everybody around the table had updated everyone of what we are up to these days. I gave up a big sigh of relief as I came out of the gents, I had just seen the final score between Manchester United and Aston Villa. ManU won 4-1! They were 1 down when I had last checked. Linda walked over to our table with the photographer and suddenly we felt like celebrities, the nearby tables were staring at us wondering who the hell we were! That was nice of Linda, I thought, on her day, rather than being with her family, she came over to the bar looking for us to take a photo. She had already done it at the Church although there were a few others in that photo, whom we didn’t know!
As the whistles went off for the Rugby finals we were ushered into the banquet hall. There was pre ordered wine already on the table which made our task easier. Unlike home, here we have speeches either before the meal or after the main course. I think the best man wanted to get the speech bit over with and to start enjoying! We had the speeches first. The more the groom slags the best man and vice versa the more the fun. In this bout the groom won. The brides father did a decent job as well, the grooms father who apparently attended his first wedding in his life time turned out to be a man of few words. The temporary relief the sandwiches gave me was fast disappearing and making me lose interest in the speeches. I was more than happy to see that the best man was shy of words as well.
Starters arrived even before the applause finished and I knew that the Chef had turned the oven on for main course a tad early. Oh oh…catastrophe….the starter is not a vegetarian! Poor Anju…I forgot to mention, Anju is a pure Brahmin, doesn’t eat non vegetarian even though she used to hog hot dogs while in primary school…excuse was she didn’t know that hot dogs were made from meat! Anju asked for the vegetarian option and I was the least surprised when she got a melon starter….Anju doesn’t like melon either! None of us in the group were too keen to show sympathy since we were all starving. Anju reluctantly accepted the fact that our hunger came before her dislike for fruits. In between we signed the guest list as well. Ann who earlier tried to nick my Mont Blanc tried the same with the Hotel’s Cross pen as well. sadly for her that didn’t materialise either. Ann loves good pens by the way. The soup that followed was equally delicious and I was able to put off Anju’s appetite slightly by saying that the vegetable soup had meat stock in it, I think by this stage even she was really hungry and ignored my ‘valid’ comment. The main course was even better. Even Anju’s vegetarian option looked well and she confirmed that it tasted as good as it looked! During the courses the waitress was more than obliging to top up our glasses and get us more shots and beers!
Linda came up to me and I was surprised since normally guests go up to the Top table and see if they are enjoying. Linda wanted to know how I felt everything was going…..ok from a hoteliers eyes`. I told her that I had left my hotelier jacket at home and was attending the wedding as her friend! How could I lie so convincingly, I honestly don’t know.
After the meal, I confirmed my faith that nothing ever happens as per my thinking. South Africa crushed England in the Rugby Finals. I was actually happy that I was still standing and talking sense so England’s lose had no impact at all on me. The band started playing and as per the tradition, the Bride and Groom had the first dance. I liked their song selection but unfortunately can’t remember the song. I would have asked Linda but for the fact she probably is still in Boston on their Honeymoon. The second song brought in the families and Linda’s Dad made an entry and what an entry it was. He danced as if nobody is watching him, as if there is no tomorrow….it would have been more pleasing only if he knew how to dance. But trust me it was priceless. Linda’s sister said that he will dance for an hour and then go to bed. Poor Janette seldom knew her Dad’s powers. He was there till the last song and even continued dancing to the DJ’s music.
I was out smoking a Cigar with Martin and Anju came out. She had a few breezers by then and was feeling a bit tipsy. Martin went in to get another round and knowing him I shouted…just a beer for me mate…Anju spoke to me about her plans of returning home this December. From nowhere my eyes started to fill. My best friend, more than my best friend, it was just the two of us here for the last eight years, she is leaving. First words that came out of my mouth were, what about me, Anju said that she has only one more paper to get which she will in December, and that I have only one step more to climb in my professional ladder and that I should concentrate on that. I couldn’t hear her, my mind was going in circles. That was the point I realised how close we are. I felt helpless. To me the night was turning into an anticlimax.
We all went to the residents bar. Sat there chatting having the occasional sip till day break. Yes, I wanted to go to the restaurant and have a full fry but Anju’s news had left me shattered. Anju went to the Powder room and I said my good byes to my friends. I ordered a taxi with the concierge. Linda and Ryan were retiring to their room at that stage and I congratulated them once again and wished them all the luck.
I was on the taxi home when Anju called me and asked where I am. I lied to her that I was drunk and I am going home. I didn’t have the strength to wish her good bye. To me she will always be here, near me; my support, my best friend, who carried me when no one else was here for me. I told her I will meet her soon, knowing that, it will never happen. She knew as well but just agreed.
Yes I might meet her at Heathrow Terminal and we both might introduce our partners and kids as well, oh my, did I just think that…..well you know now, that’s never gonna happen either.
The next morning, i woke up with memories of my first Irish wedding and my last evening with my special friend....
When I came to Dublin first back in 99, there were only three Indians I knew and I hit it off straight away with Anju, a girl from Delhi. We became very close friends and its through her I met Linda and Ryan. Back in 2002, never did we think that they will last this long and walk down the Aisle, but well, what has ever happened according to my thoughts! In this case, it happened for the good.
So, got the invite around three months back. In the meanwhile myself and Anju had moved away concentrating on our careers. I was looking forward to meeting Anju again after the long gap. Were there butterflies in my stomach, not really, we both knew we were good friends and that we will remain good friends. But yes, I was happy, looking forward to meeting the whole gang, enjoying a few pints…having a bit of ‘craic’!
The day arrived, since I knew that I will taste whatever Ireland has ever produced called whiskey, I wisely left my car at home. The cabbie went on about how good Irish weddings are, the drinking till the early hours, going straight to the restaurant to have a full Irish breakfast and then waiting for the bar to open again. On Sundays pubs opened at 12 instead of 10am, so that’s two extra hours of anticipation than a regular day! He kept me amused so didn’t bother telling him ‘mate, I have seen all this at least a few hundred times’. Just enjoyed his conversation and on his advice took two paracetamol tablets, his explanation was that my hangover will be minimal the next morning…even though against my principles, I took the tablets….what is the fun in having a session if you are not gonna have a hangover the next morning….
He was so distracting that I forgot to mention the turn to Anju’s house, cost me three extra euros! Picked up Anju from her house, well , I just realised how long its been since I met her. She looked more like an Irish now, dressed in an LBD, as they call it these days…little black dress exposing just enough to make heads turn. She gave me that ‘ don’t I look good’ smile and asked how do I look. Today I didn’t have to lie or think for an instant before saying ‘you look absolutely stunning’ she sure did. Were those the butterflies fluttering in my stomach, nop, it wasn’t, I just realised that I had not eaten anything the whole day and my tummy was rumbling. We reached the church fast enough before we got into more assess me talks. Since we were running late, all we were worried was whether we will miss Linda walking down the Aisle with her dad.
We reached fifteen minutes late and was looking at each other to see who we can blame, but then we saw Bernie waving at us signalling us to rush. We crossed the road and I could see me holding Anju’s hands, some things never change, because all the while I knew Anju she was a bad ‘road crosser’. We had enough time to grab the ‘wedding itinerary’ and grab a seat before we heard the ‘here comes the bride’ music. I turned around to see them walk down the Aisle. I always loved western weddings, the music, the veil, the long dress….the compliments….oh look at her, she looks gorgeous, oh…that’s a lovely dress…I have heard that many a times before but mostly just for the sake of saying. But in this occasion, they did mean every bit when they passed those compliments. Linda looked divine. But my appreciation of the situation didn’t last that long…Suraj….take a photo….yes madam, I was the designated photographer for the next hour. I didn’t complain much since I liked what I was shooting. Compared to the 2 hour weddings back home, this was a cool 45 minute ceremony…and I don’t get to kiss the bride either. The ceremony itself was beautiful. The choir complemented the mass so well. It was a perfect setting. Three brides’ maids, two grooms men and the best man.
The bride and groom was standing outside at the church exit door to thank everyone for coming and also for us to congratulate them, I have kissed a hundred brides while welcoming them to the hotel but believe me I still get tense doing that. So I was dreading this ‘congratulating’ bit. Anju was the only one who knew this and she was enjoying this immensely. I congratulated Ryan and Linda but Linda had to bring her cheek closer to mine….i came out saying..ok that’s over….Martin commented, Alex, you seem to be more tense than Linda…smart cow.
Now, this is what that made the hour so much interesting! We had noticed this young woman who probably is a size 8, wearing an Armani dress( heard her saying that to her enemy). She had made sure that everybody noticed her by her various ‘acts’. Well, God just answered her prayers. She went over to congratulate the Bride and Groom and as she was in the process, her stiletto heels got stuck in the gully right beside the entrance. Trust me folks, it took the best part of 15 minutes, the bride and groom, the best man, the girls boyfriend and two other men to get her shoes out. The photographer was having a field day. All this time smart me was thinking, if she had removed her shoes, then it would have been much easier to get it out…dah! Finally before the fire brigade was called, they finally managed to get Paris and her shoes out. The embarrassment will stay for long though! After a few photographs, we proceeded to the Hotel.
First question Elaine asked was, are we stopping at the Thatch Pub? We had a less than 5 minute drive to the hotel where the bar would have been fully stocked. Indeed, we stopped at the thatch. By the way there is a reason why the Pub is named Thatch. The pub’s roof is thatched; once upon a long time ago, the pub got flooded and the pub was fully rebuilt. Probably anticipating another incident, they decided to keep costs down! We all decided to start of with Shots, when I say we, its Ann, Anju, Bernie, Sharon, Martin and of course me! We all had a round of baby Guinness followed by our individual favourites. When it came to the third round, the hotelier in me interrupted and said that we have to leave, otherwise might miss the Bride and Grooms entry; why would I want to make the Pub owner rich when the poor hotelier had already stocked up his bar!
We reached the hotel and for the first time that afternoon, I was genuinely happy, I saw sandwiches at the reception table…grabbed a few triangles before we headed to the hotel bar; Sharon had to drag me to the bar since I had gone back to grab another sandwich and also to look at the Hotel’s Christmas programme. I have this terrible habit of checking out other properties even when I am supposed to be relaxing, in this case drinking. Before I left I had given the receptionist my address to post their brochure to me. She wasn’t my ‘type’ otherwise would have given her my business card. That’s another thing I do, I carry plenty of business cards when I go to other hotels….recruitment costs have shot through the roof in the last two years!!
The Rugby world cup finals was to kick off in an hours time and my gut feeling was England will win. But then I thought I should probably bet on South Africa since whatever my mind says, the opposite happens. Funny enough, luckily that syndrome never occurs at work. By the time Linda and Ryan came to the hotel we had three rounds and everybody around the table had updated everyone of what we are up to these days. I gave up a big sigh of relief as I came out of the gents, I had just seen the final score between Manchester United and Aston Villa. ManU won 4-1! They were 1 down when I had last checked. Linda walked over to our table with the photographer and suddenly we felt like celebrities, the nearby tables were staring at us wondering who the hell we were! That was nice of Linda, I thought, on her day, rather than being with her family, she came over to the bar looking for us to take a photo. She had already done it at the Church although there were a few others in that photo, whom we didn’t know!
As the whistles went off for the Rugby finals we were ushered into the banquet hall. There was pre ordered wine already on the table which made our task easier. Unlike home, here we have speeches either before the meal or after the main course. I think the best man wanted to get the speech bit over with and to start enjoying! We had the speeches first. The more the groom slags the best man and vice versa the more the fun. In this bout the groom won. The brides father did a decent job as well, the grooms father who apparently attended his first wedding in his life time turned out to be a man of few words. The temporary relief the sandwiches gave me was fast disappearing and making me lose interest in the speeches. I was more than happy to see that the best man was shy of words as well.
Starters arrived even before the applause finished and I knew that the Chef had turned the oven on for main course a tad early. Oh oh…catastrophe….the starter is not a vegetarian! Poor Anju…I forgot to mention, Anju is a pure Brahmin, doesn’t eat non vegetarian even though she used to hog hot dogs while in primary school…excuse was she didn’t know that hot dogs were made from meat! Anju asked for the vegetarian option and I was the least surprised when she got a melon starter….Anju doesn’t like melon either! None of us in the group were too keen to show sympathy since we were all starving. Anju reluctantly accepted the fact that our hunger came before her dislike for fruits. In between we signed the guest list as well. Ann who earlier tried to nick my Mont Blanc tried the same with the Hotel’s Cross pen as well. sadly for her that didn’t materialise either. Ann loves good pens by the way. The soup that followed was equally delicious and I was able to put off Anju’s appetite slightly by saying that the vegetable soup had meat stock in it, I think by this stage even she was really hungry and ignored my ‘valid’ comment. The main course was even better. Even Anju’s vegetarian option looked well and she confirmed that it tasted as good as it looked! During the courses the waitress was more than obliging to top up our glasses and get us more shots and beers!
Linda came up to me and I was surprised since normally guests go up to the Top table and see if they are enjoying. Linda wanted to know how I felt everything was going…..ok from a hoteliers eyes`. I told her that I had left my hotelier jacket at home and was attending the wedding as her friend! How could I lie so convincingly, I honestly don’t know.
After the meal, I confirmed my faith that nothing ever happens as per my thinking. South Africa crushed England in the Rugby Finals. I was actually happy that I was still standing and talking sense so England’s lose had no impact at all on me. The band started playing and as per the tradition, the Bride and Groom had the first dance. I liked their song selection but unfortunately can’t remember the song. I would have asked Linda but for the fact she probably is still in Boston on their Honeymoon. The second song brought in the families and Linda’s Dad made an entry and what an entry it was. He danced as if nobody is watching him, as if there is no tomorrow….it would have been more pleasing only if he knew how to dance. But trust me it was priceless. Linda’s sister said that he will dance for an hour and then go to bed. Poor Janette seldom knew her Dad’s powers. He was there till the last song and even continued dancing to the DJ’s music.
I was out smoking a Cigar with Martin and Anju came out. She had a few breezers by then and was feeling a bit tipsy. Martin went in to get another round and knowing him I shouted…just a beer for me mate…Anju spoke to me about her plans of returning home this December. From nowhere my eyes started to fill. My best friend, more than my best friend, it was just the two of us here for the last eight years, she is leaving. First words that came out of my mouth were, what about me, Anju said that she has only one more paper to get which she will in December, and that I have only one step more to climb in my professional ladder and that I should concentrate on that. I couldn’t hear her, my mind was going in circles. That was the point I realised how close we are. I felt helpless. To me the night was turning into an anticlimax.
We all went to the residents bar. Sat there chatting having the occasional sip till day break. Yes, I wanted to go to the restaurant and have a full fry but Anju’s news had left me shattered. Anju went to the Powder room and I said my good byes to my friends. I ordered a taxi with the concierge. Linda and Ryan were retiring to their room at that stage and I congratulated them once again and wished them all the luck.
I was on the taxi home when Anju called me and asked where I am. I lied to her that I was drunk and I am going home. I didn’t have the strength to wish her good bye. To me she will always be here, near me; my support, my best friend, who carried me when no one else was here for me. I told her I will meet her soon, knowing that, it will never happen. She knew as well but just agreed.
Yes I might meet her at Heathrow Terminal and we both might introduce our partners and kids as well, oh my, did I just think that…..well you know now, that’s never gonna happen either.
The next morning, i woke up with memories of my first Irish wedding and my last evening with my special friend....
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